I am Niran Olatona, the Executive Chairman of EKIRS and I need to report Barrister Ojo Lanre to Ekiti sons and daughters house so that appropriate warnings may be given him.
I must admit my share of the blame. The Executive Secretary of JTB informed me that the retreat was strategic and thus there would be no time for any distractions of sightseeing. I pressured him using pastoral grace to expedite the lectures so that the Executive Chairmen of all State IRS, co-opted members, and even the representative of the Chairman of the Board, Dr Zach Adedeji, could experience a taste of Ekiti tourism.
Let me confess that a colleague in EKIRS spent over ten minutes last week engaging Barrister Ojo Lanre on a tax matter via phone. He arrived at my office, boldly displaying his insignia, to report on my colleague, who was understandably tense during the call. Upon realising that he was reporting to the very person he had argued with, he requested a peace offering. As a pastor, I offered him a bottle of Gossy Water. I then informed him about an upcoming Strategic Joint Tax Board Meeting over the weekend at Ikogosi Resort.
My greatest miscalculation was assuming that Ojo Lanre, as a Director-General, would merely delegate one of his staff to come and distribute flyers. Little did I know that this lawyer, who has transformed into a tourism advocate, would instead disrupt the cerebral atmosphere at Ikogosi Warm Springs Resort, where JTB members from across the country gathered to attentively listen to Prof Taiwo Oyedele who chaired the Tax Reform committee, Prof Abiola Sanni who is the dean of Law Faculty in UNILAG and drafted many of the laws/tax policies as well as other experts who came discuss the implementation of the new tax laws set for January 2026. We were informed that such a Strategic Retreat had not taken place in over 15 years and so we have to be serious.
Imagine, Ojo Lanre entered like a king just as we were to read the last stanza of the Nigerian National Anthem projected as the closing prayer for the formal sessions of the retreat. Thankfully, it was not on the Friday when the highly esteemed Executive Governor of Ekiti State, His Excellency BAO, declared the meeting open. Top tax administrators were left wondering who this man was, unsure whether to classify his headgear as a crown or a bishop’s mitre, emblazoned with “Visit Ekiti.” He bewildered my guests—if they had not visited Ekiti, what were they doing in Ikogosi?
King Charles would have wondered who the monarch was, given how he sauntered in majestically with his walking stick, heading straight for the podium without waiting for an introduction. Every second mattered to this busy businessman. He grabbed the microphone, cleared his throat, reminding me of OBJ. Before I could step forward to inform him of the protocol. Within a few minutes, he won the hearts of my guests completely. I respected myself as I dared not take the mic, for fear of being booed like a gubernatorial aspirant disconnected from his roots.
From the meaning of Ekiti, he began to mimic the various sounds of each step at Arinta Waterfalls. Before we could reclaim the microphone, he had confused the audience, who now wondered where to go within the three hours available. Should they visit the natural amphitheatre that accommodates 200 people? When he mentioned the warm springs in Ikogosi, my colleague from Kogi questioned whether there was another confluence apart from the one in Lokoja. I could see the nostalgic anguish on the faces of honourable men who hadn’t brought their wives, especially as he spoke of taking them to a place where they would kiss. I was relieved when he clarified that the object to be kissed was the sky. Ojo Lanre confidently informed the audience they would experience transfiguration as he would take them to eat pounded yam in the clouds!
Thank goodness he mentioned pounded yam, as it reminded everyone of the plan to have lunch before this intruder interrupted our closing prayer like someone who had not been in church for a decade. Surprisingly, they began pleading with him to wait while they quickly grabbed a bite.
I thought, as a DG, he would have other commitments and allow my team some peace. Lae lae. He parked his car at the gate, sitting there like someone guarding a bush rat hole. When we realised we could not escape his watchful eyes, we filed out in buses. Some headed to Arinta, while I accompanied him to the warm springs to ensure I monitored my guests’ welfare.
With cameras that don’t require film, only God knows how many photos Barrister Ojo Lanre prompted my colleagues to take on their phones. Thank goodness the spirits in Ukangunosi Forest were not opposed to photography; otherwise, we would have been in trouble. Realising they were awestruck and satisfied, he quickly raised his voice to inform us that His Royal Majesty, the Onipole of Ipole-Iloro, was waiting to welcome us!
His antics were nothing short of maverick. We rushed out and followed him to Ipole, moving at a speed that would have made a snail protest its label of slowness. He seemed oblivious to the notion that every minute counts for tax officials, ambling along like a catwalk model. We arrived, only to find that he had already harried the royal father from his palace.
Can you imagine Barrister Ojo Lanre asking a man approaching 70 to lead us in hiking? Many of my colleagues thought he must be cruel until they beheld the glory of the waterfalls. Several camera clicks followed. This time, I felt no fear, as the amiable Onipole was with us.
Some colleagues expressed a desire to build a tent there, showing reluctance to leave. I was faced with the responsibility of assuring them they could return. The ladies and gentlemen from afar eventually accused me of not informing them how beautiful and expansive Ekiti was in terms of tourism, insisting they would have come with their spouses. While I apologised profusely, Ojo Lanre was busy marketing Ekiti to them, effectively stealing the show. They would rather listen to him than lectures from professors!
Thank God today is Sunday, and the Holy Spirit has prompted me to forgive him. If you know him, please caution him to be careful. The next time I see him, I will give him a warm embrace, squeeze his hand in appreciation, and show him what true brotherly love feels like.
Tell him that if he sees EKIRS staff approaching for taxes, I didn’t send them. They are simply superbly motivated by the support of Mr Governor and must fulfil their duties. Encourage him never to be tired of promoting Ekiti and His Excellency’s commendable work. Many of my colleagues from other states have expressed that they have no choice but to bring their family members to appreciate the natural beauty of Ekiti State.
To demonstrate that I hold no grudge against him, join me in asking God to bless him and his team.
Olaniran Olatona
